Comments on: Are You A Maximizer or a Minimizer?

By: drsheck

drsheck — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 04:56:35 +0000

Yorinda,
Imago is great work and I’m so glad you have experienced it. Nothing is a guarantee in life, yet understanding the principles gives us a much better chance of creating happiness.
Wish you the best,
Adam

By: Yorinda

Yorinda — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 04:04:26 +0000

Hi Adam,

it is so good to see you writing about Imago.

Thank you!

I did an Imago weekend workshop with an ex partner and we stayed together a lot longer because of it. Because of using the tools to really communicate I felt heard and understood. Unfortunately our ‘values’ were to different to stay together. We are still friends though.

Love and Light
from
Yorinda
(minimizer)

By: drsheck

drsheck — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 02:40:31 +0000

Christine,
Thanks so much for sharing. Don’t feel bad about being one or the other though! They are just natural coping strategies we use to deal with our situation and with consciousness, we can choose when and how to direct our energies.
Thanks again,
Adam

By: Christine Casey

Christine Casey — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 02:36:20 +0000

Hi Adam,

I can relate to both & as you noted, have probably been one or the other depending upon the relationship I was in at the time. I like to think that as I’ve “matured” that I’ve become more like the minimizer, with less outbursts and such. Unfortunately, I think this too can be bad if taken to the extreme, and such as being a minimizer, and always keeping things bottled up. Thanks for sharing!

Christine

By: drsheck

drsheck — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 01:54:48 +0000

Dewane,
Thanks for the feedback, it’s so cool that you can see the family pattern. Awareness is the first step towards making change. These are just the defensive patterns we created growing up, they’re not good or bad. Hopefully you’ll have a little more consciousness, a little more freedom now.
Take care,
Adam

By: Dewane Mutunga

Dewane Mutunga — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:16:48 +0000

I’m definitely a minimizer! not so much by choice (well maybe a little) but more so by design. Now that I think about it, my father was a minimizer and so was my grandfather. Guess I just got caught in the cycle, although I can definitely be a maximizer at times.

Great food for thought!

By: drsheck

drsheck — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 16:46:10 +0000

Michael,
Glad you enjoyed the article. And, I’m even more impressed that you worked your relationship issues out to such a great extent. You are an inspiration to us all!
Thanks,
Adam

By: Michael Berry

Michael Berry — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:52:18 +0000

In our relationship before we both really got into personal development it was a maximizer and minimizer relationship but now we are on the same path and for the most part already know what the other person is thinking before they say it. Thanks for the article.
Michael

By: drsheck

drsheck — Sun, 30 May 2010 15:25:14 +0000

Kevin,
Exactly! And if you read my earlier posts, you’ll see that we unconsciously choose the perfect partner so that we can stretch and give what doesn’t come easily to us, so that we can grow. It truly is an amazing process, growing in relationships.
Thanks for your post,
Adam

By: Kev in M.

Kev in M. — Sun, 30 May 2010 02:54:32 +0000

“The antidote to the Power Struggle is for each partner in the relationship to “stretch” to give each other what they need.”

Healthy relationships definitely have a give and take component to them. The hard part is giving what is hard for you to do yourself or that which does not come naturally to you.