As the “Passion Doctor”, my work is to help couples have more romance, more passion, more sexuality and more intimacy in their live.  And around the time of the new year, the question of relationship resolutions is an important one to reflect upon. I’ve reviewed my previous Passion 101 blog posts and I’ve compiled five relationship resolutions that will definitely benefit you, even if you practice only one of them.

And while I’m real not a huge believer in New Year’s resolutions, I do believe that setting an intention to improve your relationship is critical to having your partnership grow. Whether you set this intention now, when there is a general agreement in the world to do so on January 1 or do it another day (or EVERY day!), just do it!

1. Recommit to your relationship!
One of the biggest passion killers is taking your relationship for granted.  We make a commitment to our partner and then “life” gets in the way and we lose focus and assume our relationship will still be around when we “get to it”. So, today (and each day, actually) is a good day to officially and formally recommit to your relationship. Make it fun, make it serious or make it official, just make it!

2. Create your shared relationship vision.
In addition to recommitting to your relationship, another major relationship resolution is to create a shared relationship vision.  I’ve written extensively on how to do this on another post, Do You Share A Relationship Vision? Click the link, read it, and DO IT!  As couples, we need common goals and a common vision to make it happen.

3. Find a new shared activity/hobby.
Monotony and routine are the enemies of passion!  Find something new to do with your partner.  A dance class, a sailing class, a kissing class (I think I will offer one in 2011), something that will give you regular, ongoing time together each week in something new and novel.  Newness ignites that spark!

4. Share one sexual fantasy this year.
Again, newness is what creates passion.  And if you want to stay passionate in your current relationship (which is always my recommendation), it’s time to share one of your fantasies with your partner!  This may be challenging for you, either to connect to your fantasies or to share them.  Fortunately, I wrote a post on this that you can click and read: How To Share Your Fantasies With Your Partner!

5. Look in each other’s eyes and say, “I love you!”
Many couples counselors will tell you that “communication” is the biggest problem that couples face.  My belief on this is that it is “connection” that is the problem.  So PLEASE, take a moment, RIGHT NOW if you can, hold your partner’s hands, look in their eyes and say, “I love you!”  You will be glad that you did.

I look forward to being of service in the New Year and helping you to create the relationship of your dreams!

Dr. Adam Sheck

Another great way to start off the New Year with more romance, more passion and more intimacy is to download my Free Special Report, “20 Rituals For Romance!” at http://freepassiontips.com

81.7% Of Married Men Surveyed Are Frustrated, Dissatisfied And Want To Improve Their Sex Life

As the “Passion Doctor”, I’ve been writing the Passion 101 Blog for over three years to help committed couples in long-term relationships keep that spark of romance and passion alive.  A big part of my work with couples is to reignite their relationship and I’ve created a number of teleseminars as well as my ebook, “101 Ways To Bring Back The Passion!” to achieve this.

I’ve recently become aware of a new home study course to support this goal and to help men to rekindle the romance and passion in their relationship.  It’s called Revive Her Drive and it is completely in alignment with my beliefs and my work with couples.

After analyzing results from a large sexual satisfaction survey and consulting with a dozen relationship/sex experts, Personal Life Media created this self-paced, online training program that gives men in relationship the tools they need to reawaken the passion within their sex life to enjoy more predictable, frequent lovemaking.

The Program is divided into four easy-to-follow guidelines called the “4 Elements of Revival.”  A woman’s arousal begins in her heart and mind and Revive Her Drive teaches men the romance and seduction strategies to which women respond most quickly and appreciatively. The tools are based on what women biologically and emotionally crave, which is often puzzling for men to figure out.

The program includes eBook instructions and audio interviews with these dozen experts on the exact steps to take a couple’s intimacy to new, upward spirals of pleasure and connection.  What’s great is that you can review the course materials online OR you can download them to play at your convenience. AND, there are complete, word-for-word transcriptions of the audio interviews!

Some of the audio topics included are:

• Sustaining Attraction
• Surrender & Trust
• Erotic Communication
• 4 Keys to Seduction
• Lifelong Passion

I have pretty high standards and I’m telling you that this is an extremely professional and well presented package that will give you some great tools to reignite your relationship.  AND, because the product is early in its launch, you can receive it now at an incredible price, less than the investment in a single couples counseling session!

I don’t endorse very many products, so please take my word on this and find out more about Revive Her Drive and the “4 Elements of Revival” by:

Clicking Here!

Please let me know your thoughts on Revive Her Drive Program and if there are other types of programs that would benefit you.

Thank you so much,

Dr. Adam Sheck

One of the main reasons couples choose to work with me in counseling of telephone/Skype coaching is that they are having issues “in the bedroom.”  Not enough sex and/or not the “right” kind of sex are big issues that I work with every week in my private couples counseling practice.

Part of my work is providing education about the Three Stages of Relationship and how to keep the passion going once a couple is out of the “honeymoon stage”.  And part of this education is explaining that there are different kinds of sex and that each “kind” has a place in the relationship.

 In no particular order, the seven kinds of sex are:

1. Married or “Comfortable” Sex.

2. Quickie Sex.

3. Romantic Sex.

4. Adventurous or Risky Sex.

5. “Take Me” Sex.

6. Kinky Sex.

7. Vacation Sex.

Let’s go over them one at a time and see the advantage of each of the seven kinds of sex.

Married or “Comfortable” Sex: 

This is that predictable yet comfortable kind of sex that many couples fall into and consider to be a “rut”.  You know exactly what “move” you or your partner will use to initiate sex, and it’s usually the same time and the same day each week (quite possible Saturday night at 10pm?).  It generally consists of five minutes of kissing, ten minutes of foreplay, eight minutes of intercourse, an “I love you” and a snore. You can set your clock by it!  And, it’s not a bad thing to have something reliable, predictable and comfortable to look forward to.  Unless it’s the ONLY kind of sex you have to look forward to!

Quickie Sex:

An expression of pure, animal lust, this is hard and fast, down and dirty sex.  You want it, you need it and you’re going to have it.  Not much romance, yet full of passion, this is hair-pulling, clothes tearing, “yeah, baby” sex at its finest.  Immediate gratification and release, the surge of hormones can provide an instant bonding experience.  It might happen the minute you walk in the door after work, it could a surprise in the middle of the night or it could be somewhere surprising (see Adventurous Sex).

Romantic Sex:

This is more of what you probably experienced when you initially began to have sex with your partner during the “courting” part of your relationship.  It was well thought out and orchestrated.  There were probably candles, music, a bottle of win and an overall sensual atmosphere.  You paid attention to what you wore or didn’t wear and grooming was de rigueur!  It was about seduction and foreplay and enjoyment.  You took your time and savored the moment.  It’s still a wonderful form of sex and usually gets lost in the hustle and bustle of our over-scheduled lives.  Plan for it at least once per month to keep the passion going!

Adventurous or Risky Sex:

This is sex that is exciting because of the novelty or risk factor involved.  When your relationship was young and you just HAD to have your partner right then and there!  Perhaps it was in the bathroom at a friend’s New Year’s party?  Perhaps it was in the car watching Fourth of July fireworks?  Perhaps it was in your office with the door locked, fifteen minutes before your next client was due to arrive?  It is somewhat related to “Quickie Sex” though the goal is making that connection, not necessarily completing the act in record time.  The risk factor adds to the passion for sure!

“Take Me” Sex:

This is where one of you chooses to “run the show” during the lovemaking session. This might be a shared decision or it might be a unilateral one, but it will definitely create a passionate reaction one way or the other. Don’t be frightened by the idea of domination here, it doesn’t have to become extreme and get into full bondage and domination (b&d) unless you’d like to experiment.  It can be as simple as deciding who is going to initiate sex this time or who is going to be “on top”.  Yet there is something pleasurable and passionate for both men AND women when on occasion you know that your partner will be in charge and you just have to just relax and let them do the work, let them be the aggressor.  We all enjoy being told or shown what to do now and then, and we might be surprised what a turn on it actually is to have our partner be a little more dominant, a little more forceful.

Kinky Sex:

Believe it or not, a survey of over 2000 Cosmopolitan readers  revealed that 70% were “game to try” and 21.5% were “excited” by the idea of adding kink to their lovemaking.  Now before you start running out of the house, I’m not taking about “hardcore” kink involving b&d, sadomasichism (s&m) or fetishism, though there is nothing wrong with any of that between consenting adults.  For my uninitiated readers, I define kink as any sexual activity that YOU find unusual or different and that enhances your sexual intimacy and passion.  For the context of this article, I’m talking about what YOU consider experimenting with your sexuality, so take away your judgments.  This can range from playful spanking, to role-playing, to introducing sex toys into your lovemaking, to making a videotape to anything that YOU have been wanting to try.

 Vacation Sex:

You are in a new, different, possibly exotic locale and this novelty factor definitely makes the sex hot.  Perhaps you’re overlooking the ocean or have a beautiful mountain view or have an oversized jacuzzi tub in your bedroom!  You have time, you don’t have the usual distractions of work, finances, the kids.  You are FREE and can do what you want, you’ve got carte blanche to engage in all kinds of sexual exploits!  You can practice ANY of the other types of sex described previously.  Go for it!

So now that I’ve described the seven kinds of sex, what does that mean to you?  I’ve always believed that knowledge is power, so perhaps you’ve got a little bit more of both than when you began reading this.  Since we are truly “novelty-seeking” creatures, if your intention is to sustain a long-term, monogamous relationship (which is true for many of my readers) than I suggest that you mix it up.  Commit to practicing the different kinds of sex and perhaps add one or two types into your repertoir if you’ve been feeling stagnant.

The sexual connection between a couple is an incredible opportunity to bond, to share, to become closer in a physical/emotional/spiritual way.  I also believe that it is one of the major ingredients in the “glue” that keeps couples connected.  I encourage you all to commit to expanding your sex life and please share the results with me, below.

Thank you so much,

Dr. Adam Sheck

If you’d like to know more about my work and keeping the passion alive in your relationship, please download my Free Special Report, “20 Rituals For Romance!” at www.freepassiontips.com

Who controls the “climate control” while you and your partner are driving?  Who’s in charge of the remote control while watching television?  Who decides where you sit while dining at home?  At a restaurant?

I know that these all seem like trivial questions, yet they speak to a big issue in relationships, that of the POWER STRUGGLE!

After a couple has been together for awhile and made it through the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship, they enter the power struggle phase.  This is where the “chemicals of love” have worn down a bit and we begin to experience who we are actually in a relationship with and we begin to butt heads as we notice our differences (For more on this, see my post, “Three Stages of Relationship”).

Let’s return to the original question, “which side of the bed do you sleep on?”  No, I’m not going to analyze what it means if you sleep on the right or the left.  It’s just an interesting metaphor for your relationship.  Like most things to me, it’s more about HOW it happens than WHAT actually happens.

I’ve been sleeping on the left side of the bed for at least the last twenty-five years, whether I’m with a partner, a lover, a wife or alone.  It’s mainly because after a few too many car accidents, it’s the most comfortable position for me.

Back to the HOW though.  In speaking a few months ago to a woman I’ve spent many nights with, she remarked that from day (or night) one, I just “took over” that side of the bed, which had formerly been her side.

I didn’t ask, negotiate or debate, I just did it.  She laughed about it with me and didn’t mind at all though.  She felt it was a very “alpha male” action and actually appreciated/admired the energy behind it.

Now with another person, this might have been the beginning of a power struggle episode.  And if I look back over the many decades and many women that I have shared a bed with, I can’t remember EVER asking about bed side.  I’ve always just taken MY side and it’s NEVER been an issue.

Does this make me an inconsiderate lout or an unevolved caveman?  I don’t really know.  And if it does, is that even important in this context?  Let’s compare power struggle with passion and see if we can make sense of this.

The power struggle is fueled by unresolved issues that each partner brings with them from childhood.  I certainly have my share of these childhood issues (why else go to all of the trouble of becoming a psychologist?), we ALL do!

In contrast to the power struggle though, PASSION comes from strong polarity between the partners.  There needs to be a strong masculine energy and a strong feminine energy to ignite that spark.  We all have both a masculine and a feminine aspect and it can play out in either or both partners.  However, to have that PASSION, that strong sexual charge, you need one partner to embody one polarity and one to embody the other.  You can take turns and mix it up, if you are conscious of it.  However, just as a battery needs a positive and a negative pole to create electricity, a relationship needs polarity to create PASSION.

My preference in general is to choose passion over power struggle.  It doesn’t always work out that way, yet on the good days, when I’m a little more conscious of what’s going on, that’s where I shape it.  So instead of engaging from my wounds, I prefer to engage from my healthy aspects, from my core.

And on my good days, my strong days, I engage from my core without even being aware of it or of it being a conscious decision.  And it generally results in a win-win situation, where there isn’t the need for a power struggle.

And while as a psychotherapist, I’ve got a pretty well developed feminine side, when I’m coming from my core, it’s a more masculine essence.  And that is where I would like to believe my “bed side” choices and other decisions of that nature come from.

So, please comment below and let me know your thoughts on this issue, as another alternative to the power struggle aspect of relationship.  What’s YOUR experience with beds, remotes, temperature or anything else?

Thanks so much,

Dr. Adam Sheck

If you’d like to know more about my work and avoiding the power struggle, please download my Free Special Report, “20 Rituals For Romance!” at www.freepassiontips.com

Click here to view the embedded video.

Thank you so much,

Dr. Adam Sheck

And to receive my monthly Passion 101 Newsletter filled with tips for more passion in your relationship, please go to www.freepassiontips.com.

As a psychologist and couples counselor, I’ve been asked this question by men, women and couples for the last twenty years. My specialty is helping couples bring back the passion in their relationship and using fantasy is one way of doing this.

And the fantasy of being ravished, being lovingly, yet forcefully taken by her man is consistently in the top five female fantasies, often the number one fantasy. This is different than the “rape fantasy” which has often been misrepresented.

Of course, women don’t want to be raped, this is an act of violence and power, not one of love. However, as revealed in the always popular romance novels, the fantasy of a strong, powerful man initiating sex with a woman, not accepting her initial reluctance, and then loving her passionately, is a popular fantasy. This is not about abuse and power, as in most of these novels (and fantasies), the couple ends up married and living “happily ever after.”

So what’s the truth here, at least from a psychological perspective?  When we first meet someone we’re attracted to we experience that initial chemistry and go into that “honeymoon” period, where our bodies are flooded with chemicals and we are “walking hormones.”  To read more about this, you can see my article, “Three Stages of Relationship”.

However, this initial chemistry fades over time and we need to take steps to reignite it!  To create sexual passion, there needs to be sexual tension and for this there needs to be strong sexual POLARITY.  We need to CONSCIOUSLY create this in our relationship.

Polarity comes from strong masculine energy meeting strong feminine energy.  Just like the positive and negative terminals of a battery create electricity, so will the masculine and feminine interact to create PASSION!  Now each of us, male and female have an inner masculine and an inner feminine and either sex can express either aspect.

For the heterosexual female “ravish me” fantasy though, we’re talking about the man embodying the masculine and taking charge with those masculine qualities to be focused, direct, relentless in pursuing his goal, in this case, loving his woman into “submission”.  This can range from simply initiating sex, to be a little more assertive than usual, to being more aggressive, to being a little “rough”, all the way to role play and using restraints and sex toys.

To use a simple example, I’m 6’3″ and over 200 pounds and have found that many woman have simply enjoyed the weight of my body pressing into them and found that arousing.  Perhaps that is enough to begin your journey.  I also happen to have large hands (no euphemism here). I’m usually able to hold both of a woman’s wrists in one of my hands and even that small step can often be assertive enough to feed into the submission fantasy.  Just consider what YOU can do to orient yourself in that direction, it doesn’t have to be “whips and chains.”

From an evolutionary psychology perspective, women want to know that their man can take care of them, can “hold” them, both emotionally AND physically.  I have a female friend who is close to six feet tall and she LOVES that her husband can physically hold her, pick her up, engulf her and make her feel like she’s a little girl sometimes.

If we believe that “form follows function”, than if a man can open a woman sexually with his dominance, than perhaps he can also metaphorically open her heart with his dominance.  Perhaps there is part of each woman who wants to have her heart ravaged open, even more than her body?  Don’t we all want our partner to help open our heart and experience more love?

Now on the flip side, there are times when a man enjoys his partner initiating sex in a more dominant and aggressive way as well.  Being stuck in ANY role will ultimately diminish passion.  We need to mix it up.  But that’s a topic for another day

These are my thoughts about this question, “Do Women Want To Be Ravished?” I would love to hear your thoughts and comments about this and any other ideas for bringing back the passion in relationships.

Thank you,

Dr. Adam Sheck

If this “Do Women Want To Be Ravished?” article interested you and you’d like to find out more ways to bring the passion back in your relationship, please go to www.freepassiontips.com to receive my monthly newsletter as well as my Special Report, “20 Rituals for Romance!”

A recent survey of 2000 people in Great Britain seems to indicate that in addition to the many advances in technology and lifestyle in the past decades, that we’ve also “advanced” the seven year itch to only three years!

The “Seven Year Itch” is the belief made popular in the Marilyn Monroe movie of the same name which suggests that there is an inclination towards infidelity after seven years of marriage.  The UK survey indicates that partners in relationships take each other for granted after three years.

Small irritations that seemed “charming” at the beginning of the relationship became major turnoffs after three years for sixty-seven percent of those surveyed.  These included snoring, hygiene (including stray toe-nail clippings!), weight gain and too much time with the in-laws.

Fifty-two percent of couples together less than three years had sex three times/week or more while only sixteen percent did so AFTER three years together.

Three year and more couples fight an average of 2.7 hours/week compared with 1.2 hours/week for “younger” couples. Partners together less than three years received an average of three compliments/week compared to one compliment/week for couples together for over three years.

As a couples counselor for the last twenty years, I have to say that I’m not surprised by these findings.  From the perspective of Imago Relationship Therapy, the “Honeymoon” stage of relationship lasts from six months to two years, and then the couple enters the “Power Struggle” stage, so the survey is consistent with theory and my personal experience as a therapist.  If you’d like to learn more about the stages of relationship, please click on my article, Three Stages of Relationship.

Also, the findings of Dr. John Gottman, a well-renowned researcher on couples, predicts that couples with a ratio of five positive interactions for each negative interaction have the highest success rate for a long-term relationship.  And the survey seems to indicate that the level of compliments given in the participant relationships is well below that.  To learn more about that research, you can read my article, Have Fun In Your Relationship.

We live in a very fast-paced, accelerated time and these results indicate that our intimate relationships are accelerating as well.  The “Seven Year Itch” is now the “Three Year Glitch”.

AND, you CAN do something to improve your relationship.  That is my belief and why I created this Passion 101 website.  If I can be of service to you, please contact me and let me help provide you with the tools to reverse this situation.  You CAN bring back the passion!

Thank you so much,

Dr. Adam Sheck

If this post caught your attention and you’d like to receive my Free, Special Report, “20 Rituals For Romance” please download it at www.freepassiontips.com.

I’ve been working with couples for twenty years and a big part of my work is to serve as a “translator” for the couple.  It often seems that they don’t speak each other’s language.

The issue seems to be much more than the simple “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” idea of the difference between the sexes. I work with many gay and lesbian couples as well, and EVERY couple seems to have a language barrier.

One model that seems to help is that of the idea first described by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts.  In it, he explains that learning to speak your partner’s “love language” is a huge key to connecting.  And I agree that connection (or lack of connection, actually) is the main issue that most couples enter my counseling office to address.

The five Love Languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

Words of Affirmation

• For some, words speak louder than actions, reversing the popular truism.  In this love language, verbal compliments, words of kindness and encouragement are so very important.  AND, when someone affirms us, we are often motivated to reciprocate!

Quality Time

• In this love language, giving someone our full, undivided attention is heavenly!  Unplugging from the Internet, cellphone, iPod, etc., demonstrates your love to them.  Connecting through words and dialogue or through shared activities communicates love.

Receiving Gifts

• This love language isn’t about materialism, it’s more about the effort and thought behind the gift that expresses love to your partner.  Gestures “just because” are as important as honoring birthdays and anniversaries.  And the gift of your presence is also important!

Acts of Service

• Actions that make your partner’s life easier and relieve some of their burden fit under this language of love.  Washing the car, taking out the garbage, changing a diaper, resetting the computer are all potential acts of service.  They communicate love because they require thought, empathy, and effort.

Physical Touch

Affectionate touch, hugging, holding hands, caressing and gentle placing of hands are all part of this love language.  It includes sexual touch yet is so much more as well.  Tenderness as well as physical presence and accessibility can beige comforts in this love language.

From these short descriptions, you can probably determine your primary language of love.  And, you can probably assess what your partner’s is as well, though you can always ask!

And while we tend to speak from our primary love language, we may confuse or frustrate our partner when it is not their love language and they don’t quite understand what we are communicating.  On the other side, if we want our partner to feel the love we are communicating, we might want to “translate” our message into their primary love language.

As an experiment this week, I encourage you to actively and consciously communicate in your partner’s language of love.  And I’d love to hear your results!

Please comment below with your love language and how the experiment goes for you.

Thanks so much,

Dr. Adam Sheck

If you enjoyed this “Love Language” tip and would like more passion tips and receive my Free Special Report, “20 Rituals For Romance” please go to: www.freepassiontips.com.

I know that this might appear to be a strange question, yet I’m serious about it!  Would you want to be married to you?

In this world, so many people are self-centered and want to know what’s in it for them.  Their relationships, whether personal or business, are about what they are going to get, and seldom about what they are going to give.

And yet we all know that life is about balance.  Whether you believe in the old notions of karma or the updated “law of attraction” or none of the above, I’m sure you have some sense of “what goes around, comes around” or some variation of this.

It is no different in relationships.  And the long-lasting, truly intimate relationships are more focused on what there is to give to your partner.  It is about nurturing and sharing and caring and not so much a quid pro quo.

The giving is not about keeping score or about expectations.  It is about the pleasure in pleasing your partner and seeing that they are happy.  It is about service and a spirit of generosity.  You give because it FEELS GOOD to give, pure and simple.

And so I ask you the question, whether you are married or not, whether you are in a relationship or not, whether you even want to be – Would you want to be married to you?

Are you the kind of person that others want to be around?  Do people feel better knowing you, being in your presence, having you in their lives?  Are you contributing to the well being and growth of others?

If you are that kind of person, CONGRATULATIONS!

If you are not, you might want to rethink your life.  Ultimately, I believe that life is about creating or discovering meaning, not about accumulating and taking.  And a big part of that meaning (again, only in my opinion) is to be of service, to be of contribution.

When I teach my psychology graduate students about Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages of Development, the final stage is that of “Integrity versus Despair”.  As we get older and our life winds down, we look back and ask “Have I lived a full life? Have I lived a meaningful, accomplished life?”

If we can answer ourselves “Yes!” then we can face that final stage of life with integrity and peace.  If we answer “No” then we face despair.  AND, it’s never too late to create that full life, that integrity.

So back to the question, “Would you want to be married to you?”  I ask it for many reasons, but as the “Passion Doctor” on this blog, I can tell you that if you are the kind of person that you would want to be around, then you will most likely be living a fulfilled, meaningful life and be living a PASSIONATE relationship.

If the answer to the question is not to your liking, in addition to couples work, I help many people face existential dilemmas such as this and would love to support you in whatever way that I can.

Take care,

Dr. Adam Sheck

If you’ve enjoyed this article and want to learn more of my thoughts on this topic and about reigniting the passion in your relationship, please download my Free, Special Report, “20 Rituals for Romance!” at www.freepassiontips.com

BECAUSE the latest research seems to indicate that a selfish lover is more a more satisfying lover to their partner!  Yes, it’s true, a study from Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Vancouver indicates that:

“… as a partner’s sexual self-focus decreased, their partner’s satisfaction decreased.”

Yes, this is against our intuition that it is better to be OTHER focused in our lovemaking and to make pleasing our partners our primary goal.  Well, guess again, seems like that isn’t quite the truth!  This study states that the less we focus on ourselves, the less our partner is satisfied.

It looks like those who are focused more on their partner’s satisfaction just aren’t quite as into it.  It turns out that our MOTIVATION is a big determinant here.  Couples that are having sex out of obligation or simply to please their partners just aren’t as enthusiastic about it and that shows up in the result!

When we are making love because we really WANT it and are into it, although one can label it as being a SELFISH LOVER, it also means that we are FULLY ENGAGED! And if you’ve read any of my posts on passion, you know that being fully present and in the moment is one of the keys to ignite those fires.

I can certainly share from my own experience that while I have had periods in my life where I would obsessively focus on my partner’s pleasure (once for her birthday I “insisted” she have one orgasm for every year celebrated; it was a LONG weekend!), that’s not all there is in lovemaking.  Our partners truly enjoy it when we are satisfied as well.  It makes all of us feel good to know that our partners are enjoying themselves, too.  It’s that sexual “contact high”.

And of course, anyone who has participated in a 12-Step Program knows the benefits of working a “selfish program”.  We really do need to make our own needs important AND it can also benefit those around us.  We’ve all heard the metaphor of the airplane emergency where the oxygen masks activate and we’re notified to put on our own mask before taking care of others.

Now we know that it extends as well to our sexuality.  So go ahead, don’t feel guilty or ashamed.  Be a Selfish Lover!  AND satisfy your partner!

Live with passion,

Dr. Adam Sheck

If you’ve enjoyed this article and want to learn more of my thoughts on this topic and about reigniting the passion in your relationship, please download my Free, Special Report, “20 Rituals for Romance!” at www.freepassiontips.com