Passion 101 Newsletter Archive

Issue 6, July 2009

Welcome!

It is my great pleasure to welcome you to the sixth issue of the Passion 101 Newsletter! It is my intention to provide you with monthly information that will help you Enhance, Re-Inspire and Re-Ignite your Relationship with your partner.

The Passion 101 Newsletter continues to be a great success and I invite you to write me and let me know what YOU would like to have me write about on these pages. What interests you? What issues are you facing? What nurtures you? How can I best provide you with help and service? As in any relationship, our relationship will expand as you communicate with me how best to serve and support you.

Please contact me at drsheck@passion101.com and let me know what you would like to see in this newsletter AND what you would like to see on the Passion 101 Website.

I invite you to visit my Passion 101 Blog which can be accessed at:
http://www.passion101.com/blog

It has many new posts which include my original thoughts, as well as great passion quotes and links to other interesting articles on Passion. In addition to this monthly Passion 101 Newsletter, you may subscribe to receive updates of the Passion 101 blog posts from the Passion 101 Blogsite. You will then receive them by email or your favorite RSS service as they become available.

I hope that you enjoy the different options you have to enjoy the Passion 101 materials.

Thank you so much,
Dr. Adam Sheck

Passion Quotes

“When you are in Love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.”
-Dr Seuss

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
-Joan Crawford

“I love you not only for what you are, But for what I am when I’m with you.”
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Passion Assignment

This is a new idea I’m really excited to begin in the Passion 101 Blog, which is to provide my blog readers with periodic “Passion Assignments” which can help you to create a more passionate, romantic, sensual and intimate relationship (not necessarily in that order!).  For my Passion 101 Newsletter subscribers, I’m sharing the first assignment with you as well. For further assignments, you’ll have to check the blog!
This first assignment is one that I give to all couples that I provide counseling for, and I give it to them during our very first session together.  It’s short, it’s simple, yet it’s challenging and surprisingly effective.  Are you ready for it?

Well, I’m going to make you wait, just a little bit longer. Anticipation is actually a great practice in creating passion in a relationship, but that’s not the assignment today!  This assignment will help you to connect to each other, feel closer to each other, and be more open and receptive to each other.  Are you ready for it now?

It’s about Appreciation!  Yes, appreciation and gratitude are fundamental qualities of long-term successful relati0nships.  Yet for many, this is so challenging.  Perhaps it’s because as children, we were exposed much more to criticism than to compliments by our caregivers.  We knew that our parents loved us, but we didn’t always hear it from them or hear it from them frequently enough.  Perhaps your current relationship is similar?  Perhaps you know that your partner loves you, yet has a hard time letting you know.

Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is wonderful in others belong to us as well.
-Voltaire

This exercise is your opportunity to begin to heal this issue.  It’s short and simple.  It shouldn’t take you more than 3-5 minutes to complete and I’d recommend that you work up to doing it each and every day with your partner.

What you’ll each do is come up with three things that your partner has done that you appreciate.  You will take turns sharing these three things with your partner, one at a time, ending each time by saying “thank you.”  After you say each item, your partner will “mirror” the appreciation back to you by repeating it word for word and completing with “you’re welcome.”

Example:

Partner 1: “What I appreciate about you is that you made me lunch today.  Thank you.”
Partner 2: “What you appreciate about me is that I made you lunch today.  You’re welcome.”

Then Partner 2 will share one of their appreciations which will be mirrored and you will alternate until you have shared all three of your appreciations.

Warning: Many couples that I treat tell me “Oh we’re pretty good about telling each other what we appreciate already, …”  And yet many of these same couples tell me they are in treatment because they feel taken for granted!  Then they will get lazy about this exercise and wonder why there is no result.  When this Appreciation Exercise is formalized and performed consistently, it can have a major impact on your relationship.

I strongly encourage you to try this simple exercise.  It won’t take long and the results can be amazing!  And please, write me and let me know how it works for you!

I appreciate you all,
Dr. Adam Sheck

P.S., If this has inspired you in some small way, please share it with a friend. You are welcome to forward this newsletter to anyone that you feel would benefit from it.

About Doctor Sheck

Doctor Adam Sheck is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in Couples Psychotherapy in Los Angeles, California. He is certified in Imago Relationship Therapy, a very successful and effective form of couples psychotherapy. He teaches skills in communication and exercises to improve the Emotional, Spiritual, Physical and Sexual intimacy of your Relationship.

In addition to his private psychotherapy practice, Dr. Sheck is Director of Psychology Training at a local Community Mental Health Center. He supervises psychology and marriage and family therapy interns and trains them as a requirement towards their professional licensure. He is also in charge of the Couples Counseling Program at the Center.

Dr. Sheck has been teaching graduate classes in Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy since 1998 and is proud to have helped so many of his students become professionally licensed psychotherapists.

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